Ghosts of Christmas Past
by kandiland
Summary: Chris Jericho's Christmas Eve takes an unexpected turn when he runs to the grocery store


Chris pulled furiously into the local grocery store. He took in a deep breath letting his head fall back against the seat taking a moment of rest. After a minute he looked over his shoulder at the back seat full of presents. He blamed shooting The Best Year Ever and a weeks worth of Christmas shows with Fozzy for keeping his December so busy that he had to be out in the craziness that was shopping for anything on Christmas Eve. Luckily he just had one more thing left to do, by the ingredients for a Christmas dinner that he had assured his sister that he had bought a few days before. His family was on their way down to Chris's house to spend Christmas. It was the first Christmas since their mom had died and they all decided they needed "something different" this year. Now apparently it was up to Chris to make that happen, he just hoped it wouldn't involve having to beat an old lady with a stick over the last…potato or something. Chris looked out the window and chuckled. It was actually snowing in Florida. He reached over and grabbed his hat from the other seat and pulled it on his head. "So much for something different"

_Met my old lover in the grocery store,  
The snow was falling Christmas Eve.  
I stole behind her in the frozen foods,  
And I touched her on the sleeve.  
_

Chris pushed his cart through the store checking items off the list he had made for himself. He turned down an isle looked up and froze. He tried to breath but his lungs temporarily forgot how to function. She was the only person that could affect him like that. The only woman that could make his heart beat slower and faster at the same time. The same woman he has spent the past years of his life trying to forget. Maybe, he thought "if I turn around she won't still be there. But who was he kidding. Everything in him told him to walk away, to turn around and go down a different isle any isle. He still somehow found his feet walking toward this obvious ghost of Christmas past. He found himself standing behind her and hesitated for a moment before putting his hand on her shoulder and letting it slide down her arm giving it a squeeze.

_  
She didn't recognize the face at first,  
But then her eyes flew open wide.  
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse,  
And we laughed until we cried.  
_

She quickly turned around pulling her arm away. She studied his face for a second and Chris saw the recognition come across it. "Hello Princess." Chris said softly

The purse the youngest McMahon was holding slid from her hand its contents spilling on to the floor, the surprise evident on her face. "Jerky." She whispered "Oh my god." She walked forward and wrapped her arms around him. Chris let his hands stay at his side willing himself not to react but his arms got a mind of their own just as his feet had moments before. As he held her there he took in a deep breath to calm himself down. He tried desperately to ignore the flutter in his heart from holding her again, even if it was only for a second or two, and the fact that her hair still smelled the same. "It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too Steph." She stepped back and tripped over her purse strap and fell to the ground. Chris couldn't help but laugh.

"Very nice. Laugh it up." She quickly stuffed the items that had spilled on the floor back into her back. "Well aren't you going to help a lady up?"

"Lady I don't see a lady." Chris winced. He wished he hadn't said it the moment it left his mouth. But Stephanie just started to laugh as she stood up.

"After all this time we still fall right back into our swing."

_  
We took her groceries to the checkout stand,  
The food was totaled up and bagged.  
We stood there lost in our embarrassment,  
As the conversation dragged.  
_

"So I heard your back in the good graces of Vinny Mac." Chris said

"Yeah, back to my old spot as head of creative." Said Stephanie "And you, I've seen you a lot on VH1."

"Yeah they are pretty great about being accommodating for my schedule. And you know how much I love giving my two cents about things."

"How could I forget?" Stephanie said. They fell into silence as they walked toward the checkouts.

Chris turned to Stephanie and said "You'd think we'd have more to say to each other."

"Well conversation was never our strong suit Chris at least not nice ones."

"Touché. Would you like to go maybe get a drink or something and catch up?"

Stephanie sighed heavily considering the suggestion. "Sure why not."

_We went to have ourselves a drink or two,  
But couldn't find an open bar.  
We bought a six-pack at the liquor store,  
And we drank it in her car.  
_

I really must be a glutton for punishment Chris thought. Unsuccessful after 20 minutes of driving around trying to find an open bar Chris found himself standing in a liquor store with a six pack of beer in hand. He walked out of the store and held up the beer for Stephanie to see. She smiled a weary smile and nodded. Chris sighed "What the hell are you doing Irvine?"

_  
We drank a toast to innocence,  
We drank a toast to now.  
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness,  
But neither one knew how.  
_

The two drove back to the grocery store. He pointed out his car and Stephanie pulled in next to it. Chris pulled out one of the bottles, opened it and handed it to Stephanie before grabbing one for himself. "So," Stephanie said "it's Christmas Eve we should toast to something.

"Well were here together now after all these years, not arguing, that's something."

"Alright, to…now." Stephanie said

"To now." They clinked their bottles together. "Speaking of doesn't the billion dollar princess have something better to do on this holiest of nights than sit drinking beer in her car with me?"

"Well Michael and I were taking a few days vacation and the weather shut down the airport in Connecticut so we're stuck here. Nothing's open and our hotel has a kitchen, sort of, so that's why I was at the grocery store."

"Who's Michael?"

"Chris, I thought you knew. He's my husband."

_She said she'd married her an architect,  
Who kept her warm and safe and dry,  
She would have liked to say she loved the man,  
But she didn't like to lie.  
_

"Your…husband. Oh." Chris suddenly felt like someone had just punched him in the gut.

"Yeah, we've been married a little over two years. We have a daughter Aurora…" Stephanie reached for her purse. She dug around inside it for a minute, pulled out a picture and handed it to Chris.

"She's beautiful Steph. She has your eyes." Chris said.

"Thanks."

"So, you're married." Chris repeated hoping that statement would hurt less if he said it again. He couldn't have been more wrong.

"Yeah, his name is Michael. He's an architect.

"An architect." Chris said and took a long drink of his beer

"In fact that's why were here. WWE spends so much time in Florida and with TNA becoming more popular we were looking for a place to build an office here. Michael was going to design it."

"Sounds like you have a really good life for yourself."

"Yeah, yeah…I have everything a girl could want. A wonderful child, a great job a husband that loves me…" Stephanie paused.

Chris knew her well enough to know that there was something more to that sentence. "But…" Stephanie looked away and stared out the window "You don't love him do you?" Chris pressed. Stephanie gave no response but to take a long drink of her beer. "Then, why are you with him?"

_I said the years had been a friend to her,  
And that her eyes were still as blue.  
But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I saw,  
Doubt or gratitude.  
_

"Because I came to the conclusion a while ago that love is just not something that's supposed to work out for me." Stephanie said quietly

"You don't really mean that."

"Of course I do. Hell I'm lucky that Michael loves me at all. I'm damaged goods Chris."

"Not from where I'm sitting."

"Chris…"

"No listen to me. The first time I saw you I had to remind myself to breath. Your eyes, they had me completely bewitched. And that's the same reaction I had tonight all these years later."

Stephanie let out a shuttered breath. "Well thank you but that's hard to believe after all that Hunter put me through and that mess with Andrew. My whole adult life men have been with me because of my name. Thinking if they were with me they could get at my father or the title…or both."

Her words were stung. "Is that why you thought I was with you?" Chris asked

"No, my heart told me that when you looked at me it was true."

"It was." Chris said in a soft voice

"Better not let Jess here you say that."

Now it was Chris's turn to look out the window. "We split up earlier this year."

"Oh really? I'm sorry."

"I did love her but…" Chris paused contemplating what he was about to say. He had wanted to say it for years but something had always stopped him. This time it was Michael and Aurora. "Ah never mind." He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Reaching up, Chris ran his fingers through his hair letting them tangle in the end.

_  
She said she saw me in the record stores,  
And that I must be doing well.  
I said the audience was heavenly,  
But the traveling was hell._

"So Fozzy seems to be doing well." Stephanie said quietly

"Yeah we're really starting to take off. We've been touring a lot since I left the company.

"See I told you, you guys had talent. Your last album was really good. You must be proud."

"Yeah I am. The guys think the traveling is hell. I wouldn't have it any other way. But it's all worth it in the end. The audience is incredible. It's a total different animal than the WWE." Then he realized what she said. "Wait you bought our album."

"Well, I picked it up every time I was in a music store for a year. Michael bought it for me for Christmas last year when he realized that I didn't have a copy. I started to cry. I felt so bad, I couldn't bring myself to tell him why. 

We drank a toast to innocence,  
We drank a toast to now.  
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness,  
But neither one knew how.  
We drank a toast to innocence,  
We drank a toast to time.  
Reliving in our eloquence,  
Another 'auld lang syne'

"Why did you leave Smackdown like that Chris."

"Can we please not do this?" Chris pleaded

"Hey I don't really want to go there either but since the theme of the night seems to be picking at old wounds I think I deserve an answer."

"At least I just changed shows. Why did you throw that match with your father?" Chris snapped "Oh don't think I didn't know that you were supposed to win that. Truth is you really left not me."

"You're right I did leave. It wasn't the same without you there. For Christ's sake Chris you left without saying anything I had to find out from the sound guy that your tapes had been moved to RAW. For you of all people to leave my show, I thought you hated me. You wouldn't take any of my calls or return my messages. I cried myself to sleep for a month Chris."

"Well what was I supposed to do? I didn't want to end things between us, god help me I didn't. After months of not seeing you after our match with Hunter I finally thought I had my life straightened out. And then you walked back on to the set and stirred up all my shit again."

"Well do you think it was easy for me? I grew up with my fathers affairs and I saw what it did to my family. No one deserves that not even Hunter. I promised myself I would never do that yet there I was. I thought I had my life back too. That's why when my father needed me I came back. Then you walked back into my office..."

"Yeah I remember. I went to hug you and you shook my hand. God, you might as well have slapped me in the face. It was like I meant nothing to you at all. That thought is something that haunted me for years. I remember before I left for RAW you had the nerve to ask me if I was happy, when you KNEW I wasn't. I knew I had to leave, I couldn't be with you and not be with you it was killing me."

"You couldn't have it more wrong. You meant everything to me. But, even though I wasn't with Hunter anymore you weren't free to be with me and I couldn't put myself in that position anymore. I didn't hug you that day because I was afraid of what might happen if I did." Stephanie put her head in her hands resting her arms on the steering wheel. After a few minutes he could tell she was crying.

"So much for time healing all wounds." Chris's voice cracked, his own tears escaped despite himself as soon as he spoke.

Stephanie managed a small chuckle "To time." She said holding out her beer. Chris clinked his bottle against hers. Stephanie wiped at her eyes. "I know I brought it up but can we please talk about something else?

"Absolutely."

_The beer was empty and our tongues were tired,  
And running out of things to say.  
She gave a kiss to me as I got out,  
And I watched her drive away._

"How in the blue hell did you kicked off first? You're a professional musician, you've had your own band for years, you tour, and you have your own record contract."

"I don't know. Jay laughed at me enough when he found out I was doing a show called Celebrity Duets, I haven't heard the end of it since I lost…bad. I knew I hated country music for a reason." They both started to laugh. Chris noticed it had grown dark and the streetlights were glowing around them. "Oh my god what time is it?"

"Um, 5:30. I didn't even think after you asked me. I'm keeping you from something aren't I?"

"Well actually, my family is coming in for Christmas I have to go to the airport to meet them. I'm sorry."

"No, it's ok of course you need to go." Stephanie said.

"It was good to see you Stephy." Chris said using his old nickname for her.

"Yeah." Chris said. "Well I guess this is good bye."

"Yeah I guess it is." Stephanie said. She leaned over and touched her lips to Chris's for a quick kiss. "Good bye Chris."

He tried to say something, anything. All that he should have said years ago bubbled in his chest just waiting to come bubbling out, but the words stuck in his throat. It took all his strength just to get out of the car. Chris stood there watching on wobbly legs watching Stephanie's taillights as she drove away. And just like that she was gone. He felt like he had just been dumped by his grade school crush, the one that for a week you swore your life was over. But this was different. As much as he tried Chris knew he would never recover from the whirlwind that was Stephanie McMahon. Chris's mind spun with memories that suddenly came flooding back. Chris almost doubled over in pain. He jumped slightly when, in an act of ultimate irony a rain drop fell on his forehead. He looked up toward the sky and let the cool droplets trickle down his face. "Yeah, that's about right." Chris said and walked toward his car.

_Just for a moment I was back at school,  
And felt that old familiar pain  
And as I turned to make my way back home,  
The snow turned into rain _


End file.
